She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
