cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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