i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
