how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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