The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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