physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
