She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
