we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
