I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
