you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Randomize
