so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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