I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
