i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
