I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
