Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Randomize
