Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
