Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
