Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
