Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
