I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
