im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
