She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
