Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
