she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Found the puke drawer
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
