It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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