Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
