i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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