Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
