I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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