Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
