i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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