This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
