Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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