I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
