and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
