Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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