I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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