I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
