like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
