from now on my penis is your penis
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
