So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
