yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
