i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
