So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
