She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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