I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
