this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
