i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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