you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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