I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
