Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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